Finnick, in the launch tube, waiting, going over all the plans they'd made in clandestine meetings, whispered codewords, secrets passed between victors, a conspiracy woven of their secrets and stratagems and alliances, plans that Annie never knew about. He'd had to focus on that. Focus on the plans, instead of Annie, in District 4. They'd told her not to watch and they'd known she would, known that Annie would have been hanging on every moment he was on the screen, because if their roles had been reversed, he would have done exactly the same.
He couldn't let himself think that Annie could be watching him go to his death in the arena, because for once, he'd had to be thinking of something else: of Katniss, of the rebellion he hasn't told Annie about, of ensuring that they take the biggest chance they'll ever find of freeing Panem from the Capitol and making Annie safe.
There's a look Finnick gets on his face when he can't keep anxiety from showing: his jaw gets tight, his eyes almost febrile in their brightness, with something vulnerable in them that makes him look far younger than he usually does, and Annie knows that look better than anyone except maybe Mags. Annie's seen its shadows in the darkness of his bed or hers when he wakes from the nightmares of the arena, of the Capitol, of the one misstep it would take for him to lose her like everyone else.
She'd see it on his face now, if she looked.
He's not worried this is the arena. She's right. This isn't fun. This is torture of the sort the Gamemakers can't sell.
He glances at her, sees her looking at him, realizes, probably too late, the tension in his jaw that tells his fear.
"What if ... " He finds he can't say it, can't ask if this is some punishment, if finally he's overstepped Snow's mandates and the Capitol's going to take the one person he has left in the world whose loss would matter to him other than Mags. Can't ask if the rebellion Annie doesn't know about has brought her into danger, because the only thing Annie can possibly have done to merit the Capitol's punishment is to love him.
A man whose love is bought and sold by the Capitol.
it's raining on my face :(
Finnick, in the launch tube, waiting, going over all the plans they'd made in clandestine meetings, whispered codewords, secrets passed between victors, a conspiracy woven of their secrets and stratagems and alliances, plans that Annie never knew about. He'd had to focus on that. Focus on the plans, instead of Annie, in District 4. They'd told her not to watch and they'd known she would, known that Annie would have been hanging on every moment he was on the screen, because if their roles had been reversed, he would have done exactly the same.
He couldn't let himself think that Annie could be watching him go to his death in the arena, because for once, he'd had to be thinking of something else: of Katniss, of the rebellion he hasn't told Annie about, of ensuring that they take the biggest chance they'll ever find of freeing Panem from the Capitol and making Annie safe.
There's a look Finnick gets on his face when he can't keep anxiety from showing: his jaw gets tight, his eyes almost febrile in their brightness, with something vulnerable in them that makes him look far younger than he usually does, and Annie knows that look better than anyone except maybe Mags. Annie's seen its shadows in the darkness of his bed or hers when he wakes from the nightmares of the arena, of the Capitol, of the one misstep it would take for him to lose her like everyone else.
She'd see it on his face now, if she looked.
He's not worried this is the arena. She's right. This isn't fun. This is torture of the sort the Gamemakers can't sell.
He glances at her, sees her looking at him, realizes, probably too late, the tension in his jaw that tells his fear.
"What if ... " He finds he can't say it, can't ask if this is some punishment, if finally he's overstepped Snow's mandates and the Capitol's going to take the one person he has left in the world whose loss would matter to him other than Mags. Can't ask if the rebellion Annie doesn't know about has brought her into danger, because the only thing Annie can possibly have done to merit the Capitol's punishment is to love him.
A man whose love is bought and sold by the Capitol.