Rimmer peered over Lister's shoulder to read the PADD. The man was practically a midget as far as Rimmer was concerned--miniature Scouser, the world's worst collectible, curry and lager not included--so it was conveniently easy to do.

"Don't be daft, Lister. Just because your alternate evil self had a beard, doesn't mean all alternate evil selves have beards. Mine didn't."