He hates to see Steve staring at him like that. Mostly, because he knows that he deserves it. It's the same look Peggy gave him in her room at the Griffith. "Wish I could tell you that, Steve, but I can't. Peg socked me for a reason, and it was a damn good one. I thought I was doing good at the time, but I left her in the dark. Should have trusted her more, you know. She's Peg, after all..."

He sighed, letting go of Steve's hand. "Had a sample of your blood left. Wanted to use it for good. I was the lead scientist on your experiment. They took samples of your blood, I got one. I... It was your blood, Steve. It held all the answers. Vaccines. Healing people. The common cold. I couldn't let the SSR get it. They would never give it back." Howard sighed, finishing his drink and strongly wanting another one. "They took your samples and ruined them trying to make more of Erskine's serum, but they couldn't do it. And I refused to help them. They would want a super soldier, not someone like you. Remember they didn't want you, Erskine did."

Shaking his head, he looked up at Steve. "I didn't tell Peggy about the blood. Should have. I should have trusted her more. I wanted to protect her. She loved you, her emotions were too close. And she was SSR. I... I didn't know. So, I lied. And she didn't find out about your blood from me. Bad form."

Turning away from Steve, he stared out at the open blackness beside them. "Can't prove I'm not crazy, Steve. A bit of me is just that. Mad scientist with illusions of grandeur, wanting to be something better. Something like you. I just don't have your moral compass. So, yeah, I want to know about the booze. And the lab. All the money and influence I had don't mean shit here."

Howard normally didn't feel this wordy. Gazing down at the glass, he frowned. "Damn leaky glasses."