ten_fwd_ooc | TEST DRIVE #10 - Cetacean Pool and Ten Forward

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test drives

TEST DRIVE #10 - Cetacean Pool and Ten Forward

Option 001. Cetacean Pool/Aquatics Lab: Of all the places in the world, you open your eyes and you find yourself in a medium-sized aquatics laboratory, filled with various living specimens along with various science officers bustling about trying to maintain order. There's much to explore here (and hopefully, in the crew's opinion, not break), but the main attraction is the large pool at the far end of the lab; enormous but tanklike in appearance, it contains several dolphins happily swimming about, seemingly without a care in the world.

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Option 002. Aboard the Enterprise, Ten Forward: You have no idea what just happened. One minute you were home, and now you're on a spaceship, in the middle of a crowded room. It looks like a bar. There are people eating and drinking, some in uniform, others not. Some are clearly aliens.

You've managed to land in Ten Forward a long bar with barstools and a bartender, tables sprinkled throughout, and the far wall is nothing but windows out to space. It looks like a nice lounge, low conversation making the room hum.

Better ask some questions and find out where you are, or just tap the closest person on the shoulder and try to make friends. The bar is open.

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That was exactly what she'd said, but how could he be here now, like this? Peggy relaxed, she looked more like a weight had been taken off her shoulders and rested on her heart.

"I don't know how, but you are and are not the man I know. Why didn't you go through Project Rebirth? What happened?" He couldn't be the same man. But he knew things and every freckle and scar was right.

"I saw him change, I was there. There was a moment I wanted to tell him not to go through with it because it could be dangerous." And a moment where she'd feared the worst and yelled for the whole thing to be shut down. But Steve wouldn't allow his one shot to be taken from him, he gutted it out.

"I lost him as well, so you will forgive me if I am still skeptical." She was not looking to reopen old wounds when they cut so deep.

Letting out a sigh of relief, Steve began to hope that he wouldn't have to do something he'd feel guilty for. Except Peggy still didn't look like she believed him. There was no light of recognition in her eyes like he expected. She didn't smile the way she always had when he and Buck had come back from a mission.

"I did go through Project Rebirth." A few years ago - correction a few decades ago - that would have been a painful subject but now it was something he could talk about. "It didn't work the way anyone expected." That wasn't the complete truth but until he understood why Peggy thought he was and he wasn't someone else, he wasn't going to give her the details. "It wasn't what Phillips hoped for but it was still a miracle for a guy with my kind of health problems."

Then, slowly some of the pieces came together. 'Him' not Steve. Another person had been Peggy's right partner. That hurt worse than the idea someone was impersonating Peggy or Fury was messing with his head. Giving her the same neutral smile he used on those blind dates with Bucky he told himself to think of this as another mission. Be polite and get gone before he did something stupid.

"I'm sorry for any pain this might have caused and for your loss. If you'll excuse me, ma'am, I'll let you enjoy the rest of your evening."

He did go through? How could that be possible? He explained and she listened, what he said made sense but she'd been there, that wasn't how it had happened. Steve went into the chamber looking like the man before her, but he stepped out as something else.

She needed to understand this, even if it meant only having some shadow of Steve being still alive somewhere in the world, she needed to know. So the Vita-Rays had cured him of his long list of health problems but not increased his size or mass as she had seen. Dammit where was Stark when she needed a brain more scientific than her own.

Science had begun to open to the idea of dimensional reality outside it's own, the tesseract itself was said to have come from another realm so perhaps there was something. Could it be, could he be Steve Rogers from another universe? Her head was swimming at the idea, this was far beyond her own applications of physics, space and time. She was out of her depth aside from saying that it appeared to answer questions even if it raised others.

Just as she was coming to terms with that heady idea he was ready to leave. "Please, don't." Her hand raised to catch his but stopped short. He wasn't the Steve she knew and assuming that he would react the same was rude at the least and possibly dangerous at worst. "I think I need to understand what is happening here. Steve, the Steve I knew was an artist and he had a way of helping people to see things. I'm hoping maybe you can do the same for me. If you would be willing."

Steve knew that there were different dimensions. SHIELD had extensive files on the subject and Tony had been more than willing to teach someone to hack if they were willing to learn and could keep up with his snark. It hadn't hurt that it was SHIELD that Steve periodically hacked. But the idea of different versions of reality wasn't something he'd considered. That was something out of science fiction novels.

As she reached out for his hand, he couldn't help hoping that maybe he was wrong and she was the Peggy he knew, but she wouldn't have stopped like that. Not unless their superiors were around or they were on a mission.

"I'll do what I can to help." Even if she wasn't Peggy, he couldn't refuse. "I was an artist too before the war. I'm not sure what you need me to say. I don't know about the Steve you knew." That had to be one of the strangest things he'd ever said. "I was an artist before I enlisted. I fought in the war as an agent with the SSR. I lost my girl when a mission went wrong. Most of what's happened to me is classified."

Peggy looked for a table nearby and gestured them over to it. She took a seat knowing he would wait for her to do so. Somehow she didn't even have to wonder if he was that much Steve as she knew him. Once he was settled she leaned in, eager to listen.

"So you are Steve Rogers, from Brooklyn. You were recruited by Abraham Erskine into the S.S.R. and you underwent Project Rebirth." That much seemed a constant. He had known her name and likeness so he must have known a Peggy Similar enough to herself to have passed for in looks. "You knew Peggy Carter, you were close?"

She watched his eyes, there was a certain light in his eye when he spoke of some things. She'd seen it before and it was something so particular to Steve that she'd always remembered it.

For a few seconds, he wished he was less of a gentleman or more immune to Peggy Carter. He'd spent hours going over his history with SHIELD's therapists and talking with friends who had truly wanted to help but he had the feeling this would be more painful than those discussions had been.

When she sat down, he took a seat, almost fidgeting like he had before his training. It might have been good to let that nervous tick show but Steve was afraid that it'd become habit again instead of something he used to look inconspicuous. "Yes, ma'am. I was recruited at the Fair. Doctor Erskine wanted to give the little guy a chance."

That was a loss that he couldn't ever put behind him completely. Steve should've done more to save the man who had given him so much. Maybe the other Steve Rogers had managed to save Erskine.

Looking down at his hands, he considered his next words carefully before finally meeting her gaze. "My relationship with Agent Carter is a private matter. I will tell you she trained me and we served together with the Howling Commandos." All common knowledge from his files. "If you had a similar conversation with the Steve Rogers in a taxi, you know what I meant about learning to dance."

Even if he wanted to keep certain details to himself, he couldn't help giving her a sad smile. "When I saw you, I thought maybe I'd been given a second chance."

It hurt to hear a story that didn't include her, or rather included a version of her that was not her self. Again her mind was swimming with the implications. Steve might have had years to come to terms with this but for Peggy it was all too new.

He spoke of Erskine and she looked down for a moment. "Where I am from the project was a complete success, but a spy had infiltrated the facility and Doctor Erskine was killed. Steve managed to apprehend the man responsible but we lost a great scientist and I lost a good friend that day." He had cared for Steve as well so no doubt a man with feelings like Rogers was not unaffected by the passing.

"It was a relationship then?" She sat back, a bit straighter. "I waited too long. I never, we had plans. We were going to go dancing but there was a mission and we both knew the stakes." She folded her hands over one another and turned to regard the view, mostly to ensure she had control of herself when she spoke. "He didn't come back."

She'd waited and she'd lost him. All of it was on record and even used against her in her career. None of it was new or classified, it didn't make it less painful. "I'm sorry to disappoint you on your second chance, but I'm glad you even had a first one."

"In my world, the spy killed Erskine in the middle of the procedure. They thought that was why it didn't work but they were never sure." He'd been a disappointment to everyone but the doctor. Even while gesturing to Steve to be a good man, he'd looked proud. Well, everyone except Erskine and Peggy. She hadn't seemed fazed with the idea of their 'super soldier' being five foot nothing and ninety pounds.

Despite not wanting to share his best memories, Steve couldn't quite resist that look. Not when she had never had the chance he'd had. "We - uh -" This was awkward, talking about what he'd done with Peggy with someone who looked just like her. Rubbing the back of his neck, he let out a nervous chuckle. "I was going to ask her to marry me when the war was over. I was savin' up for the ring."

But he'd never had a chance to ask. And this Peggy hadn't even had a chance at the things he'd shared with Peggy. The banter and laughter, the tears and loss. "I came back too late. I'm sorry you didn't get... Even if he - the two of you - didn't have that, he was a lucky man for knowing you."

That was something Steve believed with complete certainty. This might not be his Peggy but it was obvious she cared for that Steve, which made him one of the luckiest guys in that reality. "It's not a disappointment - I mean - I wanted... but..."

He could talk to women. He did it all the time. Natasha had cured him of the mental flailing. He should not be stammering like that. "I kind of had the feeling that it was too good to be true."

It was not Steve's size which had made him Captain America, sure that had helped him be stronger; but was his heart that that made him the super soldier. She had believed that from the day she met him. Erskine's faith was well put, and her own had soon followed.

"Marriage." The word was almost a whisper, it had been something she'd never even had the time to consider. Missions and briefings and so much work to be done. And then Steve was gone and all she had was time to think. What might have been, for him it was even more of a loss because he'd been closer to it. She felt greedy for her own heartache when he was greater. "I'm sure she would have said yes."

The stammering was what broke her, it was something Steve had when he spoke with her. Never in the field or with the men, but when he was being honest and emotional with her his tongue betrayed him every time. That hesitation drew the tear from the corner of her eye and a sad smile. "I was lucky for knowing him, we all were."

"It's alright, neither of us was quite what the other might have expected. Even so, I'm glad you're here. Because you may not be the Steve I knew, but you are still Steve Rogers. Knowing that he lives somewhere, that means a great deal to me."

"I don't know if she would have but it helped. Something to hope for when there was so much horror around us." Something to dream about. 'When the war is over...' Like the letters from home the other guys had received. Something to believe in when he'd almost forgot why they were fighting. "She was kind of married to her work." And marriage would have compromised that since everyone would have expected her to settle down.

Seeing her heartache, he reached across the table to take her hand, smiling at how normal it felt. "I'm sorry. I don't know what happened between the two of you but I never wanted to hurt her. Or you. If I'd known, I wouldn't have said anything to you."

Maybe that would be best. Being glad that a Steve Rogers was alive didn't mean she would want to see him again. The ship was huge, or had seemed that way on the schematics he'd been allowed to look over. He could stay out of sight if that was what she wanted. "And I'm glad to see you like this. Means I'll have a bright memory to help keep the others alive."

Considering what she had said before about Project Rebirth, he smiled sheepishly, realizing that Steve probably looked completely different than him. "Too bad I don't live up to what you were expecting."

"And you still don't know a bloody thing about women." The laugh felt good, it was bitter sweet but still good. Steve, completely without guile about emotions. Could he really have doubted it? "I think I can speak with some authority on what she may have felt." His hand felt, smaller but warm and comforting on hers. It was roughened and calloused in a way she'd come to know from hard work he'd done. "Her work was your work and you would have done it together. I doubt it would have ever been conventional, but I think it would have been enough."

There was no other way for it, she would not have given up her work and he would never have asked her to. Sure she could be int he field and pregnant, but there were ways to ensure that was not a risk to be taken if it were even possible. That wasn't a given either since Rebirth changed him so dramatically. It would have taken some arranging and opening some minds but she felt sure in her world at least, that is how it would have worked.

"Steve was driven, especially after he rescued Barnes; the two were practically inseparable. They were part of an advance team to a remote Hydra base in the Alps, Barnes was lost in a fight before they arrived. I think Steve took that harder than anything and it made him determined to make Hydra pay. When he got his chance to stop a massive weapon and Schmidt at the same time, well there was no turning back. In the end he managed to eliminate
Schmidt, stop the weapon and took Hydra's worst into the ocean. He went down with it." He was never found, they looked for months. He was gone.

"The last thing he said to me," she coughed out a short dark laugh, "he was rescheduling our date and talking about dancing. I never said anything, we never," She swallowed and looked away again. "Even in the last moments we lied to each other and I've never forgiven myself for that. So please understand what seeing you means, and why I can never be sorry for it. I hope you won't be either."

It let her know that somewhere they had gotten it at least a little right and that was good. But she frowned with his last and her hand gripped his firmly. "You do, he always did. It didn't matter what his body was, everything Steve Rogers was and did came from his heart. I knew that from almost the moment I met him, it's what I loved most."

And that was saying too much, Peggy withdrew her hands and felt her cheeks darken for having stepped over the line.

That comment was enough to cause him to grin. Whether she was his Peggy or another Steve's, it was so similar that he couldn't help being pleased to hear it again. "She used to say that to me all the time. Still don't most of the time." But he seemed to be holding his own today. "Thank you, for that. I know she lived a full life after... I don't think she ever knew I was going to ask." She probably did. Peggy usually could anticipate his plans but he'd never known for certain or what her answer might have been. "Nothing about us was conventional."

Which was why it had worked. No one expected much of a frail looking soldier or a woman. It was something that was frustrating and wrong but the two of them had used those assumptions to their advantage during the war.

"We rescued Bucky. I couldn't leave him behind and she wouldn't let me go alone. Stark flew us in and we took care of the rest." They almost hadn't survived but somehow they'd managed. "We became a team. They dressed Bucky up like something out of the comic books and we became the Howling Commandos. They didn't care what size the guy doing the planning was if the plans worked." And they had right up to the end.

"Bucky..." Wait. Lost? "Bucky died?" No... that's not how it happened. That Steve had lost... The thought made Steve sick. What would it have been like to lose his best friend, his brother...

"The rest sounds about the same." Except Bucky hadn't survived to see the end of it. Hadn't been there during the crash. "Right down to the date except Bucky was with me."

Shaking off the empathy he felt for the other Steve, he gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "You might have lied to each other, but he knew how you felt. If he didn't he was an idiot." Which was probably rude except he was Steve, or a version of him. "And he wasn't. We might not have know a thing about dames but he would've known the truth. And that call... that promise." Swallowing hard, he ignored the lingering memories that still twisted him even years later. "It's what made it bearable."

For a second, he envied the other Steve. He might not have had the life with Peggy he'd had, but it was obvious how much she loved him. His Peggy had loved him too but he couldn't help wishing he could hear her say those things about him. "That's why I fell head over heals for her. She was one of the first people who looked past it all and realized who I was."

Carefully ignoring her blush, he waited for her to compose herself. "I'm sure that's why he loved you and you can't tell me I'm wrong. If you're an expert on Peggy Carters then I'm an expert in Steve Rogers."

If she closed her eyes she could almost imagine it was the Steve she knew. If that was wrong she didn't care, she took that moment, it helped with the closure she'd been trying to get for years.

"I can't speak for what the Peggy you knew did, but I stayed with the S.S.R. till the end of the war. I transferred into the New York branch and was put to work code breaking while we tried to hunt down the last of Hydra. It wasn't ideal, I faced a lot of men who would rather I not have been there. I wasn't given field ops, I was even asked to fetch coffee." It had been insulting and demeaning but she'd stuck it through knowing they would have to let her do what she did best eventually.

"Howard got into some trouble, not the social kind this time, and was branded a traitor. He came to me for help and I knew it could not be true. I made it my night job to help him and find out what was really happening. So, let's see..disarm a bomb, save New York, earn the gratitude of one of the countries richest men and then back to serving coffee." It had been a thrill to be back in the field but her brief foray hadn't ended well.

"Oh yes, and then I was arrested for treason, completely false of course. Uncovered a program to raise and train young assassins in Russia, and got back to be treated like the office secretary and nearly fired." But that wouldn't have been so bad all things considered, she had more to offer than they were willing to use clearly so it was time to move on. "And that was when Howard called me about a job. New organization he was getting off the ground, and he wanted me to head it up." Her, not some man, but Peggy Carter, founder of SHIELD.

"We were just getting things started when I ended up here." Life had an odd way about it.

So much the same and so vastly different at the same time. His plane had crashed but at least he wasn't alone at the end, that was good..wait.. "If your plane went down, how are you here? What happened?"

As he listened to the life of this Peggy Carter, he noticed subtle differences, but overall her life had been similar to the one he had met decades later. It was different hearing the words from a version of her that didn't have time to temper old prejudices. Not that she had glossed them over. She had told him of her frustrations but time had worn away the edges her words would have had. Or she had tempered those observations so that he wouldn't feel guilty for not being there with her during her struggles.

"I'm not sure how much of her life I should tell you. I don't know if things will be different for you or if you'll both be guided in the same direction." He hoped not. Steve wanted her to succeed and to do great things, but what had happened to her later in life... He hoped that the Alzheimer's would never effect her the way it had his Peggy.

"I can tell you what's the same between the two of you. She moved to New York." Pausing, he gave her a shy grin that was filled with pride. "She used to say she was from Brooklyn. She never said if she ever really lived there but she said she'd go back to my old neighborhood on her days off.

"She was treated like their messenger girl and I wished I could have lectured them on how they were wasting one of their best agents. Not that they probably would've listened." His voice picking up the dismissive tone that most had directed toward him but his eyes brightened with amusement. "I'm not exactly agent material." He'd proven them wrong. They both had proven them wrong. He almost asked how Howard had shown his gratitude, curious to see if Tony had picked up his habit of showy gifts from his father, but it might sound like he was judging her somehow.

"I'm sorry that they didn't value you more until SHIELD." As he spoke, he wondered how much he should tell her. Would it change her future if she knew what happened seventy years in the future? Technically her life had been altered the moment she had been brought aboard the ship. "I work for SHIELD now. You being part of its founding was why I agreed to continue being an agent."

Sighing, he rubbed the back of his neck, ignoring memories of fear and cold. It was easier not to think of those aspects of the crash with Peggy near, looking how he'd imagined her while he'd spoken to her over the radio. Except this wasn't his Peggy and he had to continue to remind himself of that. "The serum. It saved us both in a way. I might not look like the perfect soldier, but it did give my cells the ability to regenerate and to withstand things that would kill most people. And Bucky... They were trying to recreate the serum and he was..." The test subject. He still wondered about that coincidence but at least it meant that Steve hadn't killed his best friend when he brought down the plane. "We were both found... seventy years later."

"I think there is a good chance that I am too stubborn to let much of anything stand in my way regardless of what version of myself I am." The choices, decisions and path of her other self would likely not have altered her own gut reactions.

But she listened to the story of this other Peggy, one who had a chance she never could. Sadly it ended the same, with men seeing only her gender and not her ability. That she too had relocated to New York, and associated herself with Brooklyn. It shouldn't have surprised her, she supposed, to learn that such attitudes were even more universal than she'd originally thought.

She stifled a soft chuckle at his not being fit to be an agent. He was more suited to it than half the office she had worked with; Thompson and Sosa notwithstanding. The fact was that he had survived, he was alive and by all present accounts, safe in the future.

He was not alone in having to be consciously aware that this was not the person he knew. The physical differences aside her was so much the Steve she remembered near the end. Perhaps a bit more worn and cynical about the edges but still that same good man. A good man she found herself more and more comfortable with in ways she should not be. He was not her Steve, in truth he had never even truly been hers.

"Seventy years." A life time. Her heart broke with that thought, he remained buried and lost for a lifetime while she trued to make her impact on the world. The sun rose and the world continued to turn for decades with out him in it. She had given up. She'd failed him. "I'm so sorry. I thought we had done everything possible, I was assured every step and measure had been taken to find you and bring you home." She neglected to say bring his body home, that was a truth she was still unable to face quite yet.

Peggy swallowed hard, her voice was too thick with emotion and she needed, she needed to get herself under control; to reprise that famous composure and steel. "We were never able to replicate the serum. All samples of your DNA were destroyed." Well that wasn't entirely true was it?

"Howard retained one vial of your blood. He was afraid of the use it might be put to so it stayed in a secret vault. I thought it was a weapon he wanted me to retrieve for him, but it was you." It had been the most personally important mission she'd undertaken, not bad for someone who fought through the war and saved New York near single handedly. "I believed you were gone, so when the vial came into my possession I did what I had always intended. I brought you home." It was what she thought he would have wanted, or just stupidly romantic notion.

"In that, the two of you are the same." There was more than just that that made the two of them similar but Steve didn't want to think too much on that subject. His Peggy had lived a long life, had done great things and had a family. No matter how much he might hope, they weren't the same person and it was unfair of him to try to see how they were the same. But, fair or not, it was difficult not to want to see some trace of the past that he'd thought was nearly lost.

His lips twitched as he fought back a smile when she laughed at his assessment of being considered an agent. "Everyone underestimating me was always one of our advantages when we worked together. A woman and a scrawny kid that looked like the wind could knock over were never thought of as a danger until it was too late." Even when Steve had been with the Commandos, most of the enemy soldiers - and some from their own side - hadn't believed he was a threat. "Everyone used to wonder why a lady like that would be with someone like me." His smile turned wistful, eyes unfocused for a moment as memory caught up with him. There were so many things that he missed while he spent every day pretending that it didn't bother him that he'd lost everything except Bucky.

"No, Peggy... it wasn't your fault." Catching her hand, he gave her a pleading look. Even during his worst moments, when he raged over what had been lost and struggled with memories of the war, Steve hadn't blamed her or Howard for not finding them. "Don't ever believe that it was your fault. The plane was lost in the ice. It took decades for there to be technology that could find it. You and Howard did everything you could. Even if it'd been found back then, I don't know if they could've drilled through the ice to find us... him."

Gently brushing his thumb over her knuckles, he hoped that she would believe that. It was no one's fault except his own. He'd wanted to protect the world and that meant putting the plane down in the most remote spot possible. "If I'd - he'd - been found sooner, they might not have had the ability to bring him out of the..." That was something he shied away from. The ice still gave him nightmares, still ached in his bones when he thought about it. "Whatever state we were in down there.

"It's probably best that no one recreated it. They might have gotten another Schmidt." He couldn't help thinking of Bruce. "I know they kept trying but the results... Bucky and I were the lucky ones." Even if it wasn't his fault, Steve still felt guilty for all the people who had been hurt by the attempts to replicate the serum. His miracle had destroyed too many lives.

"I can't say what he'd think of all that, but my Peggy had to do the same thing and I was relieved when she told me that she protected the world - protected me - that way. You did the right thing. They would've done terrible things with my blood. I'm sorry you had to go through that but I'm glad it was you because you understood what would happen and what I would've wanted."

It hurt to put that into words even though he knew she needed to hear it. His throat ached as he forced back grief that felt as sharp as it had looked around a busy New York street that seemed like something out of a nightmare and realize he'd lost everything. "I wanted to go home when the war was over. I wanted to go home with you beside me and you gave me that. Thank you."

He forgave her, or more accurately relieved her of self imposed blame. Of course he would, that was Steve, not a man who was naive or dull but a man of a truly good heart. He had sound and logical reasons for how he felt, but logic so very rarely came to comfort for feelings. He might forgive her but she wasn't sure she could ever forgive herself.

She had lived with it every day since he was lost, the void the feeling of something missing. Just being near him, any version of him, was achingly soothing to that void. His touch was as soft and compassionate as always, though she knew he could just as easily handle a heavy weapon or, well the other Steve could have. Perhaps this one had not but he still had the spirit of a fighter.

"It only worked once for us, and I remember saying at the time that Erskine would have been pleased it was you. I hope she let you know that as well." There was no way to tell how divergent their lives had been with the way the project worked for him. But she could bet there were some constants, like her own feelings.

"So you knew her, all those years later? And she told you what had happened?" Would she have the strength to do the same? Could she recount the emotional memory of it to him when he looked so, young? Dear god, she would be a wrinkled old woman by then. Well into the end of her life, well past hope for anything between them. Fresh heartache overtook her for the bitter-sweetness of that reunion. The unfairness of it all was oppressive.

"When I was a little girl we were still recovering from a world war. We never thought such devastation could come again, let alone in our life times. When it did, I knew then that life was not about balance, things didn't just happen to those who deserved them. I lost my faith in so much, I learned life was not fair." Her eyes faded to that distant memory, then a slow smile spread across her lips, rueful and tinged with a bit of sadness, but a smile nonetheless.

"And then I met a skinny, toe-headed man who looked as though he might break in a stiff wind. And he did the one thing I thought was impossible." Her hand turned under his, as if by habit her fingers entwined his own. "He restored my faith. He gave me a reason to fight. And when I'd had a reason to die, he gave me a reason to live." Her gaze returned and leveled on Steve, as he was. Thin, drawn and still determined. He wasn't her Steve, but he was still the man who had changed her life.

It couldn't be easy for her. Seeing him like this when there had been another Steve Rogers who had been the hero that everyone had wished for. He had gotten over the disappointment others had felt, mostly because of Erskine's last attempt at showing him his worth and by Peggy's constant encouragement. "She did. So did he. Before he died, he looked proud. I wasn't a disappointment to either one of them. She actually - uh - trained me. Taught me to fight so that I used the advantages I had instead of fighting like someone twice my size."

She wouldn't have taken the time if she hadn't thought of him as someone worthwhile. There were too many important tasks that she could have taken up instead of helping him for that not to be proof of her belief. "Bucky still thinks it's not right that a little guy like me can wipe the floor with him." It wasn't meant to be boastful. It was a hint that things had worked out. Steve Rogers may not have been a super soldier but he had his own type of strength because Peggy Carter had decided he was important.

"And she..." Ducking his head, he couldn't help feeling a little shy about the details of his relationship with his Peggy. The 'modern' world had made him more open on certain subjects but that was something special that he shared with only a few people. "She choose me. She could've had any guy she wanted and..." He still felt a little dazed by that. "And I was the one that got to be her sweetheart."

For a few seconds, Steve almost wanted to tell her, but what good would it do? There was no cure for Alzheimer's. They said there was no way to prevent it. It'd be would be cruel to tell her that part of her future... if it would be part of his Peggy's future. "I do. We talk regularly. I tell her stories about my team and she says I'm too dramatic. I don't think she really believes all of it. Sometimes I don't believe all of it." Gently squeezing her hand, his expression was a mixture of affection and sadness. "She's still the most beautiful woman I've ever met."

As Peggy laced her fingers between his, his chest ached with an old longing. "And he'd given up much hope of anyone seeing who he really was until this whirlwind walked up to the soldier next to him and laid him out flat. Always looking perfect and looking so proud whenever he outsmarted the bigger guys. When she looked at him in that taxi cab, there was no pity. There was faith and the potential for something more. She taught not to let the closed doors stop me when it would've been easy to give up." All because she'd had that faith in him. "It wasn't just the serum that made me who I am. It was her belief in me and I'm sure that your Steve Rogers knows that too."

"Did she? Then you are tougher than you look. I know how I train and I don't believe in pulling punches. Not preparing someone for the reality of what they will face is no way to start them out." She thought about how she would have trained him, how she had begun to train him in another life. Use your weight and size to distract, hide and be the fulcrum to the others mass and speed. Turn their supposed advantages against them and never let up until you were secure.It was how she had survived this long, scarred but alive.

Could she have any man she wanted? No. She was attractive, yes. Intelligent, without question. But after the war there were so many women and so few soldiers who returned whole. "Finding a man isn't the problem." She found herself echoing an earlier statement to Howard. "It's finding the right one." Her perspective on that had changed as well. It was hard to meet the bar when it has been set by Captain America. "I think she counted herself as lucky too." Double edged sword, she had been a bit jealous over him as well, she could hope the other her fared better.

"Your team? The Howling Commandos can't still be operating at their ages." She knew the men well, and liked them all, but they would not be in any shape for much of anything in seventy years. Her curiosity was derailed by his compliment, and for once she was left to stammer a reply. "You are far too kind to old ladies then."

She listened to a past that might have been, a future denied to them both. She listened and closed her eyes against the tears that threatened to build. It wasn't the story she knew, but she could see it so easily, her grip on his hand tightened. "Maybe," She didn't dare open her eyes again, not yet. "Maybe there is a reason we're here, like this. Maybe this is a second chance. Two people who have seen different sides of the same story and know that it could never end up as it should. Until now." Her breath was still, it was a risk being so bold, but with all they had lost maybe it was time for bold actions.

"I was always tougher than I looked. She and Erskine knew that when I was in boot camp. The serum worked in its own way. Perfect health and accelerated healing. I was better off than most of the guys that were out there fighting." Pausing, he gave her a wry grin. "She didn't pull her punches but she knew I could take a beating even before the procedure. She knew I'd grown up getting beat up in alleys. Even at her worst she was kinder than the neighborhood bullies."

The smile wavered slightly before he forced aside his reaction to those words. He knew how to hide his feelings. Both Peggy and Natasha had trained him but he'd never been able to keep things from Peggy. Especially when they had dealt with matters of the heart. "The right partner. I hope she believed she was lucky. I put her through so much... she didn't deserve that and neither did you."

At least the team was a safer subject even if some of it would probably shock her. "A new team that Bucky and I lead. We're called the Avengers." Tony's description came to mind and he chuckled softly. "'Earth's mightiest heroes according to Stark but he likes to exaggerate." Realizing that he had surprised her with the compliment, Steve gave her the patient look that he used when training new recruits. "You of all people should know that there's more to someone than how they look."

It was probably lucky for him that she had closed her eyes since he wasn't sure what his expression would have shown her if she watched him. Grief. Hope. Uncertainty mingled with guilt. This wasn't his Peggy. Her Steve had been a different man and it was wrong for her memories of him to be the reason for the chance that Steve had dreamed of for years. "Are you... are you sure? I'm not him."

He knew he didn't see her just as his best girl. She wasn't. That Peggy was back home, decades older than him. The memories of her were something he cherished and would never tarnish. But he also knew that she would be disappointed if she didn't take the chance that was offered. She had always wanted his happiness.

"Peggy, I..." Swallowing hard, he tried to ignore the hope that he'd almost given up on, knowing that he couldn't give in to it immediately. They were each similar to people who had been lost. It wouldn't easy. If she even was suggesting what he assumed and it wasn't wishful thinking on his part. "I would be honored to have a second chance wherever that it might lead."

"Avengers? Well that is a bit dramatic, but it certainly sounds like the sort of flair Howard would have." It was natural to assume any reference to Stark would be to Howard. She had no way of knowing that there would be offspring, nor would she know about the tragic end of her good friend.

So much could be different between their worlds, she feared that difference might have made Steve react badly to her suggestion.It was why her eyes had remained closed, the rejection would be easier to bear if she didn't have to see the guilt in his eyes. He would feel guilty for causing her pain, it was just who he was.

If his senses were keen he could sense the tremor in her hand, fear over a response was no a normal state for her; it could surprise them both. The silence stretched out in a painful eternity, with a simple answer. Her breath released in a rush and her shoulders softened.

Peggy opened her eyes, they were shining and her smile was brilliant. She wrapped her other hand around theirs together. "It is a chance, no one knows what might happen. But I thought I would never get this change again and I am determined not to waste it."

"Tony is dramatic but he's a good guy. Even if he pretends he isn't." Or believes that he's not. Eventually they'd get through to him and Tony would realize that he was just as much a hero as the rest of them.

There was no way to know if he was giving her the right answer. It was the kind of situation that he never would have believed possible even after seventy years on ice and an alien invasion. It had to be frightening to make that offer, not knowing how much he really was like her Steve or if he could look past the obvious and see more than just the woman he loved. "I wished for a chance, but I don't want to be selfish."

Truthfully part of him did. Steve wanted to ignore that there had been another Rogers that had loved this Peggy and start something new with someone who would have some understanding of what he had been through. Someone who was as bright and vibrant as his best gal. But he also knew what he'd never forgive himself if he was selfish. "I don't want to lessen his memory. You love him and I would never... I wouldn't ever want you to give that up."

But he still held tightly to her hand, memorizing that smile that made him feel like he had in the taxi, jittery and star struck by the beautiful woman who saw him instead of his differences. He tried to memorize every detail, knowing that there would be a dozen drawings in his sketchbook later so that he never forgot that he had been given this moment with her.. "Maybe we should think of it as a chance for something new that they both would have wanted us to have."

"Tony?" That name was not familiar to her and she didn't know of any relatives of Howard by that name. Not to say it was impossible, the closer she got to Howard the more she realized she didn't know about him. But he was still a dear friend and she was pleased to know he was there for Steve in the future. It might have been bleak to arrive in a world where he didn't have a familiar face.

"You couldn't, you wouldn't. The memories I have of my time with him are precious, and he's one. If he shares anything with you that means he survived into my future and things are as impossible for him as they were for me. I would hope he,and you, would eventually found a way to be at peace and be happy." She was aware it was an impossible contradiction, the Steve before her was acting as though he hadn't found a way to move on, that he still harbored deep feelings for his Peggy. Just as she knew she would always love Steve, even if they had never had the chance to see where things could go with each other. She was practical enough to think that after she had gained some closure she would want companionship for her later years. She would not be alone, but it wouldn't be the love of her life.

"Then we may want to start this out appropriately." Peggy squared her shoulders and shifted her grip to a handshake. "My name is Peggy Carter, I worked for an organization named SHIELD before I came here." She smiled warmly, it was different from the look of admiration and adoration she normally held for Steve, it was simple and honest. "I would very much like to get to know you."

"Howard's son." It still felt odd to say that. To wake up to find seventy years had passed and a friend had a child that was older than Steve. "He's a genius. I mean, beyond what Howard was. Things I doubt Howard ever even dreamed of." They took his breath away sometimes. "He created armor to fight in so that he could protect people. The first time we fought together, he took on a suicide mission to save the world. Somehow he managed to make it back."

But Tony still doubted his worth even after all the ways he'd helped others. "He helped all of us try to find a place in the world when we're not... none of us are normal but it all works for us." Most of the time. There were still fights and tension but when they had to, they worked seamlessly as a team.

Which was something both he and Bucky had needed but in some ways it wasn't enough. Steve still struggled while Bucky had embraced the new world. Of course it helped that Buck had found a girl he was head over heels for. "I hope he did. I..." One of the lies he always seemed to keep ready was on the tip of his tongue but he couldn't lie to Peggy. "I haven't found that. Not yet. Content, maybe. But it's not the same. It's still... seventy years, Peg." The old nickname slipped out without him noticing. "That's not something you accept quickly no matter how often people say it should be easy."

Slowly the loss slipped away, chuckling at Peggy's proper introduction. "My name is Steve Rogers, part time agent of SHIELD and full time Avenger." It sounded ridiculous but he kept his expression serious despite the hope brightening blue eyes. "I would like that too."

Of course Howard had a family, and a child who would carry on his legacy of brilliance. Why she hadn't had that thought occur to her was shocking. Truth be told with Howard's tendencies there could by any number of children in the world to claim him as a father. She shouldn't even be surprised, but still there was a reminder that life did indeed go on, for everyone involved. "You'd be scandalized by some of the things that Howard has thought of."

But there was no surprise to her that any child of her best friend could save the world in selfless determination. She hoped that the other Peggy had managed to be a part of his life. She'd always wanted to be an aunt, to have family. She wasn't ready to admit the need for her own or the idea of having children of her own because her life had been planned out in dreams and she woke from them to find a necessary piece missing.

Apparently he had felt much the same, she hopped it was possible for him to have found peace but it was a lie to say she was not pleased to have such a hold over his heart. Well that some Peggy did. SO much so that the nickname feel automatically from his lips and she felt that tug at her heart so strong it made her chest heave. "Losing someone you love should never be easy, if it is than it isn't love."

She released his hand to take a more familiar grip, her fingers and his meshing. "Then I think we should talk, I think we have a lot of catching up to do."

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TEST DRIVE #10 - Cetacean Pool and Ten Forward

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